(MY UNFORGETTABLE DIALOGUE WITH A LESBIAN WOMAN)
“Weep with those who weep”
(Romans 12:15).
I remember a number of years ago, back in my non-Christian days, I used to like frequenting dance clubs and bars with live music playing. I was barely in my 20s then, when one night I entered one particular dance club. After a few dances I went to the bar for a drink. There, I engaged in a conversation with three lovely women. Not sure how the discussion came up about homosexuality, but one of the ladies said she was a lesbian. So I asked an honest question, "How did you become a lesbian?" Being a few years older than me, with more life experience, she smiled and said to me with deep emotion: "I had lost both my breasts due to cancer a few years ago." Her face now wet with tears, she continued, "Now tell me, what good looking guy like you is going to want a woman who does not have breasts?" I responded, "But you have breasts!" "No! These are not real breasts. They are artificial ones." She retorted. Stunned, I just stared at her. I was speechless. What could I possibly say to bring comfort to her? Finally, I said, "I really don't know what to say? I can see you are in a lot of pain about this issue. Is it okay, if I give you a hug? You look like you could use a hug about now." At first, she said, "I don't need your sympathy, I just want you to understand my reason for becoming a lesbian. I have had many men reject me, because I have no breasts." With a tear in my eye, I then concluded with these words, "Look, I just want you to know you are no less a woman in my eyes. I know breasts are a physical sign of a woman's femininity. But breasts don't make the woman, it is the woman who makes her breasts. Breasts can't nurture without the woman behind the breasts. Your breasts may be gone, but not the woman who can still nurture. I know I may not understand what you went through, nor what you are still going through. However, I don't think it's wrong for me to still sympathize with the pain you are going through." With that, I gave her a heartfelt hug. Wiping tears from her eyes, she smiled, and said, "Hey, for a guy who disagrees with homosexuality, you are a pretty awesome guy in my books. Thanks for listening to me without a judgmental attitude." With that said, we smiled at each other, then she and her friends faded into the crowd, while dance music pulsated, and strobbing lights flickered, smoke filled the air, and people laughed and glasses clinked in the background, I was deep in thought, as I slowly walked away from the scene, still feeling a faint trace of that woman's pain lingering in the air.
As a young man then, I realized life wasn't so easy to understand, it can be quite complicated. at times. I really had no words that would comfort her or make a difference, but if there was any difference this incident made, it taught me there are no easy pat answers, when life gets complicated. Sometimes the best thing we can do is just listen to the pain of others with our hearts.
Many years have passed since then. Even as a Christian now, I still don't have an easy answer when life gets difficult, however, I do know a loving Saviour who also LOVES embracing breastless lesbian women, much like the one who I hugged so many years earlier. Even now as I write this, it is hard holding back the tears, as I wonder where this dear woman is and how she is doing? May the Lord Jesus Christ find her, love her, and draw her to Himself. It is for such women, I deeply feel for, that renews my mission, passion, and purpose to never compromise the truth, nor the truth of the Gospel, when such precious people need to hear it most. Truth may not be popular, and it may hurt to hear it sometimes, just like some medicines may taste awful, but in the end, it is the most compassionate and loving thing to do for our neighbor. Now whether they accept or reject the truth, only they can decide that. However, to withold the truth from my homosexual neighbor is not loving them.
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