The word "offend" in Scripture has three essential meanings: "(1) To commit any sin in thought, word, or deed, James 3: 2 [theme text]. (2) To displease, thus the Pharisees were offended at Christ, Matt. 15: 12. (3) To be scandalized, or made to stumble by the example of another, 1 Cor. 8: 13." (Cruden's Complete Concordance, pg. 466).
First, there is often a misunderstanding associated with the words we use when people get offended by what we say. For example: I remember doing a course a few years ago where an incident took place during one of the classes I attended. A young woman was offended by what I had said to her. I said to her "To stop being so bossy." With that comment, she made a big deal out of being offended by what I had said, which drew the attention of both instructors to come to her aid. They reprimanded me for supposedly being offensive in my words to the said woman. So I defended myself by pointing out what i had said, and clarified the matter by what was meant in my comment. I explained that the supposed offensive word I had used, "bossy" was used to call out the young woman on her behaviour and actions towards me, I did not in any way by the use of that word attack her personally. If I had called her a "fat slob" or an "ugly pig." then I would have been in the wrong. Because that would have been a personal attack on her! The funny thing is, the instructors still wanted to argue their point that they were right, when they well know by my explanation they were in the wrong. Obviously, they were being manipulated by this young woman, but were too proud to admit it.
One just needs to pause sometimes and think about what the other person had said to them, before jumping to wrong conclusions and assuming the other person had just offended them. People need to understand the meaning, thought, and intent behind the word being used. Is the "word" directed at the person's behaviour and actions, or is it a personal attack? Only then will a person be in the right position to judge correctly. Sometimes the person will use what you had said, and pretend to be offended as a means to manipulate the situation in order to win the sympathy of unsuspecting people. However, when the truth comes out and the person who claimed to be offended is exposed to be a lyer; then according to the first point in our Biblical definition on the word offend above, has now offended a couple of people by both manipulating the situation for personal benefit and for lying to them. I'm sure for most of my readers, they had experienced this situation one or more times in their life.
Then secondly, there are those who simply choose to get "offended" or insulted by just what you say anyway. Especially, when you point out something that they are saying or doing wrong. For example, Jesus pointed out to the Pharisees their hypocritical behaviour and their "doctrines the commandments of men"; when they pointed out why do Your disciples transgress the tradition of the elders by not washing their hands before they eat bread? The disciples came to Jesus and said, "Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended,..." (Matt. 15: 12; see also verses 1-20). The truth is, when you as a Christian start living the truth of God's Word in your life, people are going to get offended by your Christ like life, due to the fact it convicts them of their ungodly lives. The Lord Jesus says "And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended [find cause of offense] in me" (Matt. 11: 6).
Then finally, the third point on the word "offend" has to do with one's testimony before others as a believer in Christ. For we read Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 8: 13, "Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend." Here in 1 Corinthians chapter eight the Apostle Paul deals with the issue of Christian liberty (freedoms). To apply this to Christians in North America, particularily the United States and Canada, the controversial issue about whether it is right or wrong for believers to consume alcohol can be brought up as a case in point. While the Bible clearly condemns drunkenness, it does not condemn drinking in moderation (see Song of Songs 5: 1; John 2: 1-12; 1 Tim. 5: 23). However, due to the alcohol abuse in North America, it is hard for God's people to practice their liberty in Christ without using the utmost care and discretion in considering those brothers or sisters who may be weak in the faith. Such will be offended at a stronger brother or sister who exercises their freedom in Christ to enjoy a little wine on occasion. When in the presence of one who you very well know will get offended at seeing you drink alcohol, it would be wise to not damage your testimony by heeding Paul's words, "But take heed lest by any means this liberty of your's become a stumblingblock to them that are weak...Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend." (1 Cor. 8: 9, 13).
So in closing, we learn three things from Alexander Cruden's three point definition on the word "offend." (1.) We can offend people by sinful words, deeds, and actions; (2.) people can get offended by things we say and do, even though it may not be bad. You cannot please everyone; (3.) then finally, the last point dealt with the issue of how our actions as Christians can defile the conscience of a weaker brother or sister.
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